holga loves ):

I miss leaving house with my purpsholga.
One day, I am gonna bring it out with me all alone. (: (:

after all that other dedications, and it shall be out with me. Sounds super long later. /: and I have decided to treat myself better first. Others comes next. :P selfish, but very true indeed. ):

lack of meet ups, please forgive me my dearest friends..

A quote to start of...

"I will once again stress that I will only say I miss you when I mean it. "

& best friends are not easy to come by @weiantheman you are one such best friend.

@kesleen, you are missed.

@dawn wish we can meet up soon and more often, though studying together might not be possible. HAHA, you know why. *wink*

Sorry to have neglected so many of my other friends. ):
My hectic schedule (work, tuition and my studies) is keeping me occupied most of the time. (really!) It is really not that I do not want to meet up, but my life is pretty much occupied with things. Even my dearest don't get to see me much. ):

No doubt, busy life makes me feel more productive.

Though lethargic-ness kicks in very often. (almost every day...)

misses ):

when i miss somebody or something terribly badly.
tears just cant stop falling.
I don't have to know every single thing that is happening in other people's life, do I?
Then why at times I really want to find out, being afraid of missing out with the minutest detail..

even missing out on time, I feel sad.
of course I want more meet ups, more time for myself, more time to do more things...
nah, its not possible.
suddenly, when there are too many things to do, I don't know where to start.
and whenever I don't know where to start, I waste more time. Vicious cycle.

I feel guilty for agreeing to a meet and then to cancel it, due to the pressing deadlines of my other shit ass work to be done.

Finished resumé. and cover letter for GSK.
realised that my GSK's cover letter is too specific to be used for the other two companies.
Need to rephrase quite a few paragraphs for the other two.
haiss.
):
damn.
just let me get GSK.
and materials people, don't compete with us please..
GSK's pay is really little. only about $700 per month. I don't mind, but just let me have it please.

one last thing,
weian's sis leaving for Holland got me thinking.
Will I miss the people in Singapore more or will they miss me more when I am over in Germany?
The thought of being alone sucks.

this is just a little emo post flooded with tears, I will recover.

sneezing is no fun

sneezes after sneezes.
What happened? plus sore throat, and THAT!!
): wow, all in one package.

Gave up wearing my retainers for a while, having at least three ulcers in my mouth now.
I will put them back, maybe tonight.

my last minute disease is coming back.
Everything seems to be piling up.
Taking Six modules this semester yet there is not a bit of sense of urgency in me.
Prelab is done, however it feels like something is missing somewhere.
Haven done prelab for such a long time.

go away last minuteness.

can't decide on where I want to intern.
Looking at all the companies again, those companies which sounded less prestigious actually appeal to me more. Except for the GSK goddess! Nothing can replace that.
saw one of the listed companies, it is based in Austria. German usage opportunties! Will definitely try for that too (:

bye peeps.
nobody reads here nowadays.

woodstock no stock!

there was this beanie woodstock and snoopy soft toy that I wanted to buy.
BUT there is no more stock for woodstock! and they won't be getting any new stocks!
):
Scheiße ):

should have bought it long ago.
now snoopy doesn't have a partner!
almost all my snoopies have partners you know! ):

Scheiße!!! ):

keep smiling & hang in there.

sometimes i feel really happy.
and other times i feel really sad.
don't ask me why, cos I really dun know.

today is a happy and sad day.
don't ask why, again.
just like that.

i may look happy here. but this is not today. it is just one of those days that I feel extremely happy.


i want to be happy every single day.
i mean every.
i try to be very happy every single day.
but why? why i am not happy every single day and every single moment?

are studies driving me crazy? not really.
and i don't know what is driving me crazy.

i know that are many who love and care for me.
This never fails to make me happy.
every single time i think of it.
even now, i am smiling.

maybe i should think of this every time i get unhappy.
maybe everyone should think of how they are loved.
just that, at times, i will cry too when i get too happy.
okies, i've concluded that maybe i am crazy.

i miss drinking starbucks.
wanted to buy a cup after school today. BUT was too lazy to walk over.
):

back to study for cm2161 and german vocab test.
i did badly for vocab the previous time.
i really don't want to S/U my german...

so much to study, so little time.

lots to study for German Vocab test.
It sucks.
no motivation/drive to study for it.
):

some pictures (with dear and Asahi) to perk up this boring blog post!


I sorta liked the following photo very much!




Asahi si good. but not as good as Deutscher Bier/ Tiger. But they are different I would say.
Haven drank German beer for ages. Miss it lots!
made up my mind to go for Paulaner Brahaus Sunday Brunch! :D $33++!
saving money!

German language society Stammisch tomorrow.
Sorta looking forward to it. Though heard that response isn't that good.
Nevertheless, I have to make my 8 bucks worth it right?
and there is Tiger for the night! :D hopefully.

counting down to end of recess week.

I thought that I couldn't make it, but I am slowly gaining speed and momentum.

For the whole of recess week, the only things that I have completed:
✔ First section of that level 3 pharmacy module
✔ German essay that was due today

Considered very very very little.
German essay was supposed to be done in a few minutes time? I spent more than an hour doing it. 50 words, but I went on to 86 words. I re-checked my grammar many times. Let them be correct please.
Another German HAG yet to be done, i think. From tutorial. But First and foremost, I need to find out where have I written those HAG..

First section of my pharmacy module. Hope that I have done a good job in revision. Don't intend to look back at those notes again before the test. Still have several more case studies to go. Several = 5 sets of lecture notes. HAHA! bless me.

Serious mugging started only yesterday. Today, whole day of mugging except for the normal facebook distractions. and blogging now.

Much more to go. 2 Lab reports, including one killer - Hyperchem (the short report itself is 24 pages! GOSH)
Haven touched Cm2121. AT ALL! I can't give that up although I feel like it. (ihateorganicchemistry!)
Touched a little of CM2161. That's my favourite module of the Semester. Gotta do well!
More to go for PR3101. That's another of my favourite module of the Semester. Will try to do well.
German HAG.
Prelab for next Tuesday.
I think there are certainly more to add to the list... but I just could not/choose not to remember them.

The only way to complete everything, is to not sleep! (:
HAHA! I will try to sleep as little as possible. Drink chicken essence daily.

dinner with dear at botak jones yesterday! :D HUGE PORTION! but we managed to finish. (:
monday, dear treated my family to BBQ and steamboat! at my tutee's mom new place. YUMS* we agreed to go back there again, with my brother. Just the three of us. and maybe with xiaobiaojie and her JJ too, if they are interested.
last saturday, dear made me drink the awful Ginger beer, while I forced Bitter Lemon upon him. :P Went to have authentic Hainanese chicken rice at Purvis Road. Damn good!

Supposed to go into malaysia this weekend, but I think I have decided not to go. ): noTIME!
Supposed to go dye hair soon. But suddenly can't decide whether I should waste that money.
Supposed to be studying now, but I am here blogging!
BYE! (: CAN'T LOSE MY SPEED AND MOMENTUM!

They are so cute (: yup, THEY.
Love them!

stress starts bulding up.

SAD THINGS...
everyone starts to mug.
everyone gets hardworking.
that includes me. time is tight, and schlafenzeit ist diminishing.
lab that day wasn't fine.
I was late for German for 45 minutes?
How fine can it get? ): I would never want to be late ever again.
German (and maybe PR3101) are my favorite lectures.
Sucks.
and i cant believe that I actually prefer level 3000 modules. What's wrong with me?

HAPPY THINGS..
went over to ION orchard with kesleen to collect my OPI nail polish!
They are finally here! :D
Happy! :D just applied them. (: pretty pinkish red.
Had Gustimo with kes. (:
with a mini chit chat session.
it has been long since we talked.
there is this really heartwarming feeling whenever I talk to saggi buds.
Guess we are both saggis.
And it seems that she truly understands and see things in my point of view.
Kes and I decided to reserve a seat for 4 for xiao long bao buffet tmr.
However, it was already fully booked! ): arghs.. ):
Never mind. We promise to go again!

Dad doesn't want to fetch me to school again tomorrow.
damn it. waking up at 550am is shit.
haiz. it affects my concentration level in lectures.
I am going to down a can of red bull tmr again.
8am to 8pm.

my macbook pro is hospitalised. ):

Warranty is over, but Apple was nice enough to replace the mother board for free. (:
Though I won't quite say that Apple is nice, as it was all along their problem to start with. :P

Blogging from my Brother's white Macbook now. Poor brother, he has to be parted from his MB cos of me!
However looking on the bright side, I am actually helping him concentrate on his studies. HAHA!
He has gotten an A1 for his Chinese! (only 16 people from his school got A1 for MOTHER TONGUE.pathetic eh?)
Nevertheless, great job bro! Just like his sister (: HAHA!
We're all Chinese Pros. (:

I miss my MBP):
My heart ached when I couldn't wake it up from its sleep mode. (okies, I literally teared too. ):)
Traurig, es ist mein Schatz! ):
Come back to me soon. (Speculated to be later part of the week.)

Workload from school is getting heavier as expected.
Even without all the tutorials and labs.
Can't imagine what life would be like loaded with tutorials, labs, tuition, etc etc.
So far, I guess I have been rather on track and coping well. (ok, maybe not. just let me live in denial for a while.)
Had been paying attention in all lectures except for probably Organic Chem ):
CM2121 is crap serious!
Everything is so messy, and the Prof reminds me so much of a more untidy Jaenicke.

I tried to pay attention in his lecture but I will drift away every now and then.
His voice is so lullaby-ish. He loves to crack jokes which is helpful in keeping me awake, but I get carried away by those jokes and my train of thoughts get distracted. Gosh, once again an Organic Nightmare.
I have landed myself in this heap of trouble. I don't quite have to take Organic Chemistry actually.
But for the sake of my graduation on time(hopefully), Organic Chem is here to pester me again.
Organic Chem is more of an Elective then a Core. crazy right? Who takes Organic as an Elective one? (Except for those Maths Major.)
Alrights, time to organise my Organic Chem notes. (they are freaking expensive to print! Cos they are coloured. -I chose to print them coloured. I only have myself to blame once again.)

For the past week, I didn't manage to complete CM2161 tutorial and also prep for PR3101 lab.
Lab was not as great. Shall not elaborate further.
Incompetency was partly due to CMAD and the hospitalisation of my MBP. ):
CMAD was good! HAHA! seeing wawa getting kicked,thrown and also "mopping" the floor with his body? HAHA!
@wawa your actions are caught on video! :P
Unexpected discovery of NUS Museum open house.
Sculptures of squashed up koreans by a Korean sculpturer.
Not that I know how to appreciate art, but they look interesting and scary when viewed in certain angles.

Drew out a long do-to-list for the weekend.
hais. not going out with dear this Saturday. Ops manning.
However, going for 30/06 class gathering. (:
Not having tuition on Sunday too. going temple. then giving aunt a mini birthday celebration thereafter.
With the huge amount of time that I am actually staying at home for the weekend, I hope to complete at least 75% of my tasks.

Anyway, did I mention that dear is going for reservist again.
Army sucks. :P
Forever calling dear up.
That isn't the gist of the problem.
Calling him up on is birthday is the irritating thing.
damn it(eat) shit.

oh, I caught The Hangover recently.
Alternative to The Proposal. (cause there were too few timeslots at late timings as they were only sneak previews.)
The Hangover was pretty shitty la.
Crappy show. With Nudity, lots of F-words etc etc. [NC16 only] (dear enjoyed it tremendously. his kinda show.)
Though I would say that the plot was not bad.

Caught the Jack Neo movie, Where got Ghost?
erm. one word - SUCKS!
don't waste money. This kinda movie can just buy DVDs is you really wanna watch it.
Worst of all his shows.
Its a trying too hard movie. and the jokes aren't funny.
This movie has been topping most of the Cinemas box office 'cause it has really too too many timeslots everywhere.
There were about 5 timings of screening per day even when it was in its sneak preview period of time.
If you do your probability right, you will definitely realise that it is impossible NOT to top the box offices.
Just don't watch. If not you will regret. (Its even worse than Harry Potter if you think that Harry Potter was bad.)

Lastly!! I SO WANNA CATCH THE PROPOSAL! :D
gonna catch it with dear before he goes for reservist which is next next monday. ):
Need to find a good timing though. With my 3-days-till 8pm time table. 3 days of tuition. blah blah blah. ):
buais! :D back to MUG! (Russell, I go to school that early just to mug. :P )

fallen sickkk.

hi friends, sorry if it seems that Joan has completely disappeared from your lives.

anyway, i have been down with a really high fever since sat morning after i came back from Melaka. Fever as high as 40.1ºC. WTH.
Fever accompanied by frequent diarrhea and some vomiting. (I just vomitted some liquidy bitter things out. it stinks!)KNS.

the best thing is THEY freaking suspect that i kena H1N1 when i have came back from Europe for close to 2 weeks and i have got no flu symptoms at all! i was quarantined for one day in my room. ): damn shitty. then the next day they told me my test was negative.
The next best thing was that they sorta forget to send me back on the 993 Maxi Cabs. They totally left me there for close to 2 hours in the freaking hot N95 mask with all the might-be-infected people! it wasn't until i complained that my transport still wasn't here then they quickly arranged one for me.

AND the doctor refuse to do any blood test for me! He just insist on solely doing the H1N1 test and that's it. the medicine he gave were similar to what my GP had given me. rahhss.

oh, and i am still supposed to avoid going out in the crowd, look out for any SWINE flu symptoms, etc etc... all the way until this Sunday. ):
plus, my fever still has not subside.. the doctors still dunno what's wrong with me.
did a blood test yesterday, results will be out today.
haiz. ):

many thanks to all those who were so concerned. i will get better. (: don't worry.
i had to miss out on so many things just cos i am sick! that is so not worth it!
my transformers with dear dear )':

34 degrees celsius!!!

The weather is freak freak freaking hot!!
):
Damn, its hard to study at high temperatures. High Temperature, High humidity!
Gosh! I am dissolving in own perspiration everytime I am outta my house!

Even in my cooling room, with the air condition turned on, I am still feeling the heat in me!



I need some life.
I need some exercise.
I need some time for my loved ones.
I need some time for myself and all my packing that yet to be done! argh.
I need more time for my tuition kidos!
Their exams are coming real soon and I am flying off already!
(They will be seeing me everyday from this Sun onwards..poor them..)

Cant wait for everything to be over.
And in a few days time, I am off to Germany.
Gosh, too fast/soon to be true.

Hopefully I wont get too overly homesick, which I think I will. ):
I shall try!

Anyway, Aunt was really nice. She called the other day, asking me about my preparation of the trip and stuff.. Then, she asked me when will I be back, and we can have a double Mama&Dada Day Celebration!! (Cos if they have it any earlier, I would miss out the Mama Day celebration! ):)
My Aunt is so cool! (: I am touched!

She also added that Malcom is becoming cuter and cuter each day! beginning to babble! (: urhh!! I miss my cousin kids! Marcus, Mabelle, Malcom! I guess I will only get to see them after I am back from Germany! ):

I will be missing out on dumplings festival in Singapore!!! AHHH!! but mom bought me an extremely oily nyonya dumpling that day. Not bad, just that its extremely oily.

Daily meals in germany will be bread after bread. Brown, Light brown, Dark Brown, Medium Brown, Black? Heh. Needa go really budget! (For the sake of Paris disneyland!!! Yeah man!) Bread isn't a torture to me, its an enjoyment! Rice is the torture!

I am missing one thing. One thing that I have abstained for quite sometime! :D
Hehe! (:


Love, you have been neglected. ): I will make up for it. That will be after me coming back from Germany. 1 and a half more months. skype me kkz! (: muacks! ♥

overly short

that zeal in me is so short.
why?
it was possible yesterday afternoon.
Why not today's afternoon?

I feel like I am falling sick. ):
woke up with a painful throat.
uclers filling up my mouth.
accidental bites on my tongue! *freaking ouch!*

uttering rubbish here.
just woke up from my reluctant 2 hours afternoon nap.
Reluctant to nap and reluctant to awake.
):

hang in there..
as mugging begins..

how memorable!

I got into a car accident yesterday.
How great. I am just a L-plate learner and kena accident.
Have you heard of any L-plate getting into accidents?
If not, then i shall be the first.
):

banged into a Comfort Taxi.
Fortunately there was no injury.
(not taking into account the small blue black.)

Went through some protocols and procedures.
Really troublesome.
sucks.

Glad that i am fine and my instructor is fine.
anyway, if you are thinking that its due to my lousy driving skills, i tell you its not.
that stupid taxi driver doesn't know the rules. Mind you, he is a taxi driver you know. travelling on Singapore roads for more than 12 hours a day and they do not know the rules? How safe Singapore roads are...

This was the state of my vehicle. (the grey lancer evo)
and i was only travelling at 40km/h.



it was the last five minutes of my lesson,
supposingly a happy trip back home,
and i was less than 4km from home.
Then this had to spoil it all.

haiz. things seems destined to happened.
there were lots of events that made this accident seems so predestined.
and i believe that somethings are fated to happen.

I am fine now. really. (:
though the scene seems to be replaying in my head in slow motion every now and then, i feel alright. not a nightmarish scene.
I think i am not afraid of driving. I am a brave girl.
Nevertheless, we shall see this Saturday.

On a happier note, I learnt directional change and also vertical parking!
wasn't as difficult as it seems to be (:

now i finally know who are my true friends...

a line adapted from Dr Seow.
My LSM1401 lecturer this semester.

This is so true.
Do you even care?
Are you even concern?
Did you even bother to ask?
Did you even make an effort?

everything seems so expected i guess.
learning to let go...

getting poorer as the days goes pass.

As the economy is starting to turn bleak and black nowadays,
everyone is trying to save and scrimp.

yet i freakingly spent $171!!!!

a visit to the clinic cost me a freaking $171!!!

that is substracting off the amount of time I spent queueing up this morning,
and the amount of beauty sleep that i have to sacrifice.
other than that, the number of times that i have to go to and fro the clinic only to realise that it is still not my turn.
the number of times to and fro amounts to a huge sum of bus fare.
ADULT BUS FARE OKIES!!
i am glad i went on a bike on my second trip there.

yeah, the bike.
caused myself a huge big scratch.
my fist hit into the wall!
):
it is reddish, (becoming blue-blackish) and the skin is coming out now.
haiz.

great opportunity cost.
hopefully all that has happened today is worthwhile.
please.
*i crossed my fingers and say those prayers*

alrights, two good thing that happened.
the doctor says that there is improvement.
come back in 6 weeks time! (gotta queue up again!)

second good thing.
I made a dental appointment this friday (: hehe (:
i love visiting the dentist!
i am going to my brother's dentist which is my ex dentist later.

a summary of my queueing up time:
early in the morning at 730am, reached the clinic and queued up till 840am,
just to get the queue number.
made my way back home for breakfast.
then left my house at around 1015am.
reached the clinic again at 1025am. (i cycled damn fast lo!)
there is a need for some explanation here.
My queue number was 16.
and i heard the nurse telling the patient (queue number 14) to come back around 45 minutes later.
As i have had the prior experience of the nurses' ability in predicting the consultation time,
i decided to come back only about 1 hour 30 minutes later. (which was around 1030am)
So to my horror, when i reach the clinic at 1025am, it was only at queue number 8!
i had no choice but to roam around the neighbourhood areas, with nothing interesting or appealing to me.
bought 4D for my mummy.
made my dental appointment.
and lastly, i really had no choice but to go back to the clinic, sit down, wait,
(it was only queue number 11)
while starting playing Spore and Guitar Hero on my phone.
Pretty much of an achievement i made in both Spore and Guitar Hero.
Finally at 1150am, queue number 16 was called.

in total, i spent my whole morning from 650am - 1210pm just to see doctor!
grrr!

back to the topic of poorness,
2 driving lessons this week: $72
visit to the clinic: $171
visit to the dentist: GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH? (at least $100 i suppose.)
tuition being postponed: ): no income.

haiz. ):
sad and poor.
though money can't buy happiness.
but with less money there is less happiness.
looking forward to tuition tomorrow. (:
sorta miss giving tuition.

damn those t e r r o r i s t!

stupid freaking t e r r o r i s t s!
can they just stop trying to take over the world.
just stop all their violence and killings la!

Stupid shit!
creating so much havoc and chaos.
i really don't know what the hell is going through their mind.

instigating fear in hope that people will listen to you?

sometimes, i just hope that the world will just end!
End off all these shit and everything can start all over again from scratch.
From how everyone is innocent and all.
no more killings,
no more bombings,
no more deaths,
no more living in fear.

just kill me.

spare me the misery.
kill me now.
SSA2204 is freaking me out!

bless that whoever that cheated me into taking this module.
I will strongly discourage people like me to take this module.
unless if you can S/U then that is totally a different story.

and i am so gonna S/U it.
confirm will pull down my CAP lo. ):
though i don't even know what I will get for my other subjects.

CM1101 was fine.
I could do most of the questions.
Most. But there are people around who could do all of the questions.
ALL as in they attempted all questions even though they only had to do 4 out of the 5 questions.
and these people freaking had time to finish all 5 questions and check through their paper.
When i barely even have the time to breathe in the midst of all the intensive thinking and writing that has to be done for the 4 questions that i attempted!
There are just too many smart people around.
Maybe after moderation, those that get A* will be those that attempted all questions and get FULL MARKS for all 5 questions.
and those that get A and A- will be those that get full marks for attempting 4 questions.
and for people like me who attempted four questions didn't get full marks..... ):

alrights. ): stop the complaints!
I need to go study. ):
for my most dreaded subject for now.
SSA2204.

the next most dreaded will be CM1111.

please can someone bullet train me to 1st dec?
i wanna get it over and done with.
sounds so like my A level time.
Oh, but no, please do not bullet train me there first.
at least let me have time to practise and study for my maths and stats.
This is the only module that i can do well in.
provided that i STOP MAKING CARELESS MISTAKES!
):

those waiting for Starhub to bring in iPhone? don't bother!

The million dollar question, "When will Starhub bring in the iPhone?"
is finally answered.

and the answer is not looking too good for me. ):

"...Singapore's second largest mobile operator will not be able to bring the gadget in this year.

But the telco is continuing 'dialogue with Apple', he said adding, 'At this particular point in time we cannot be specific when we will have it in our stores... they (Apple) have their priorities signing on distributors.'"

-continue reading here

damn that Starhub.
Shouldn't have signed up student plan with them,
if not for their unlimited sms, i wouldn't have bothered getting a line that has such poor reception in the East.
So now, Starhub has said that iPhone is not coming this Christmas,
there goes my birthday and Christmas present.
yucks la!
and this further confirmed the email that Singtel sent me earlier is true!


haiz. How? what's my next step?
i am formulating plan B already!
actually plan C is out too!
(: hee.
see how it goes la.
damn Starhub!
spoil my wonderful day la.

drawing lewis structure with Microsoft Word

was doing my Cm1101 assignment,
which is due on monday 12 midnight!!!
so, i attempted to draw Lewis Structure with Microsoft Word:mac.
It sucks ok,
don't bother trying.
This was the final product:

it was so ugly unsatisfactory that i have decided to take the extra step to download ChemSketch 11.0.
don't worry, its not illegal. FREEWARE! (if its illegal i won't be as dumb as to post it up here right?)
oh, but damn the ChemSketch, it is not compatible with Mac though.
but obviously my darling MacBookPro can handle this :D

finally. done downloading.
gotta start learning how to use ChemSketch!
i tell you, it is seriously not user friendly la! ):

oh gosh, i still have to think of how on earth am i going to draw the MO diagram?!!
with Microsoft Word:mac?!
i will try.