randomness..

Strangers are just family that you've yet to know...
=)

back to TK! soon i mean..

yes yes!! i will be going back to TK!! erm...quite long later though.. probably like end of this year when my A levels finally ended.. haiz...really waiting for that day to come!
i miss the days in TK! i miss all the fun time that i enjoyed there.. all the friends i made... all the caring teachers.. haiz. .life will not be back to whats its like previously.
Nevertheless, i do enjoy life in TJ. but its just a different kind of enjoyment i guess.

going back to TK is something that i am seriously looking forward to! especially so when someone promised to go back with me after my As! sorta a motivation for me to study harder for my As too. this is one of the small little things in life that keeps me going. TK rOx!! =)

parents tutor dialogue

it was quite a fruitful meet-the-parents session.
hmm. through this meet-the-parents session, i realised something more about myself.

1. i appear tired in class.(means i tend to fall asleep during lessons) - i would like to rebut this point!! i am really trying my best not to fall asleep already! i will only sleep if i feel that the lesson aren't very useful, or if i'm really feeling very very tired and i cant stand it anymore. The times by which i fall asleep is a Poisson distribution, if you exclude those during GP.
2. i have a short attention span. oh man. this makes me sound like a primary school kid who cant keep their eyes on the teacher for more than 5minutes! i DO NOT have a short attention span. i'm just trying to keep myself awake. i mean instead of listening to the teacher, i'm trying to diverge my attention else where. that doesn't mean that i have a short attention span! it just shows that the lesson is erm...not interesting enough to keep me awake!
3. i need TONIC! haha..yes yes.. i need tonic! lots of them. whatever ginseng, chicken of essence, lingyang etc... i need all of them.. could some nice soul please buy me some of those? hee..
4. yes yes.. this one is funny.. a particular teacher commented that i should learn to have some self control and not continue laughing at a joke for minutes after the joke is told. this is an interesting one. i don't have anything to say to defence myself. i just think that its natural to laugh.
   

these are my four main take aways for the whole parent tutor dialogue session. not really very useful as you can see. but the general positive comment was that i am indeed improving! =) yup. hopefully this comment is true till the end of the year.
furthermore, why cant teachers tell us these things straight? i mean why do they always have to let our parents be the first to know? if we don't know what's wrong with ourselves, then how are we suppose to improve and change before you all meet our parents?
my conclusion is that they just want to have something to say to our parents.

100th day! =)

swimming day!

yes! love swimming!
especially with my infant PHEBE BAY CHUN HUI!
haha..
i love it when we get to swim in the whole big swimming pool all by ourselves!
i love it when all the rest get out of the pool while we stayed behind and continued swimming!
i love the feeling that you feeling that you are exercising yet you do not feel the sweat.
it feels hot in the water yet at the same time the water keeps me cool.
the feeling is just so good!
i wanna go swimming soon!
=)

and we swam in the rain today!
woohoo!

16 April!

yes! 16 April!
its once again 16th!
=) =) =)

three months has passed.
things are moving along well.

trust is important.
very important.

a sweet sweet three months.

who cares what others think?
whatever they think isn't gonna affect us.

i know what i am doing.
i know what i myself feel.
i know that only i am comfortable with him.

yes, that's enough.

so what if people look at me differently?

i am happy with what i am doing.
thanks for your concern.
Life is great with him! (=

<3 him

ben & jerry 2!

reached ben & jerry at 2.25pm.
started queueing up till 2.50pm.
first scoop of my ice cream.(Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough)
with my TJ 7 sisters.




shopped around with 7 sisters till around 3.20pm.
by that time, i already finished my first scoop of ben & jerry.
if not it would have already melted lo.

met dawn at around 3.25pm.
queued once again with her.
cut queue as we saw how ee and gan jun!
haha. cut almost half the queue.
got my second scoop(which is in a cup) (Chocolate Fudge Brownie) at 3.50pm.

then went around white sands once again with dawn.
finished up my second scoop.
and took a few photos with dawn using her new phone.

the silver K800i!!

then, 4.40pm.
junjie reached white sands.
we joined him in queueing.
i was thinking, am i really going for my third scoop?! omg!!

so, niff reached at around 5pm.
and we were nearing the counter already.
niff tried to cut queue.
but there is this disgusting old ben & jerry worker there.
he stopped him from joining the queue.
so dawn and i took his "order" and ordered on his behalf.
thus, dawn and i shared one scoop. ( Sweet Cream & Cookies)

so niff owe me once as i help him queue for his ice cream.
and he owe me another once as i missed my bus cos of him.
altogether he owe me twice.
i'll remember!

p.s. among all the three flavours
Chocolate Fudge Brownie is ranked first.
followed by Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough,
then Sweet Cream & Cookies! hehe..

but i still think that Phish Food and Marsha Marsha Marshmallow is the best! (=

joan rOx!
ben & jerry rOx!

ben & jerry's day!

yeah! it was a happy ben & jerry day!

our tues was supposed to be a long day til 4.30pm.
but we manged to rushed down to the white sands branch by 2.25pm.
thanks to our GP tutor Mr Calvin Tan for kindly shifting forward Gp to the earlier time slot.
and also very much thanks to there being no PE!

it was such an interesting day in school as we all couldn't wait to go to ben & jerry!
we are so so crazy about ben & jerry that we tried and show our love for it!

my wrist being "cutted" by infant!!*ouch*
did this during maths lecture. that's why i was wide awake.
but during biology lecture. sianz diao.


infant's hand.
drawn it during biology tutorial.
at the same time, had had an interesting conversation
about X gal in our 1 o' clock direction.

Jiawei's hand.
vandalized by Phebe Bay (infant) also.
done during biology tutorial.

Group photo of the 3crazy, tan chi n ben& jerry lovers!
we are one big family.
on the left is daddy no.2, then infant, then mummy!(me!)
venue: the hot and stuffy biology lab.

okie..those are the before going to ben and jerry pictures.
shall blog about the real ben & jerry later or some other time . (=

one of my happiest day recently

yesterday was fun!
it was seriously one of my happiest day!
it was also dawn's bdae! hee.. altho her bdae present was like ermm..crap...
haha...but nvm...she sorta like it alot..
we wanted her not to like the present lo!

it was this powerpuff girl cake!
i feel that its quite ugly.
niff thinks that dawn wont like it too.
but when we gave it to her, she went...
"oh! so cute!" in a bit of a high pitch voice!
haha..so exaggerating!
maybe she was just trying to not make us disappointed.
but in actual fact we were quite disappointed that she like it...omg!
it just turned out so so LEFT!

we went bowling in textile centre.
for like around 30minutes only.
because the alley was to be closed at 2pm for some competition.
and sadly, niff was the only one who bowl.
nothing very interesting happened during bowling, except for the fact that niff is seriously a drain washer..
his bowl skills sucks~!
haha...wait till he sees this. but i doubt he will tho..=P

then, we walked to beach road!
i love the hawker centre at beach road!
it reminds me of my kayaking times!
i love the chicken rice there also!
haiz..but i din eat it yesterday.
was too full to eat chicken rice.
we ate some belgium ice cream.
mine was specoolas, (some kinda biscuit flavour, which taste somewhat similar to venezia tartufo)
dawn's was super lemon! which really tasted very very sour, yet it refreshes at the same time.

while niff ate waffle with chocolate dip! haha..plus a tiny bit of specoolas and super lemon from dawn's and mine.
this is niff's waffle, with chocolate dip.and the heart shape look alike is our ice cream!

the prices are reasonable.
1scoop $1.80.
waffle with chocolate dip $2.50
1 scoop with waffle $3.60
really worth trying out.. (altho i think ben and jerry is still the best!)

after our ice cream,
we walked aimlessly out of the hawker centre.
actually we were supposed to be walking to a bus stop.
all of us thought that someone else was leading the correct way.
but we ended "lost" somewhere.
haha.
its okie.
we weren't that lost.
reached bugis dreanched.

from bugis we took train to tampines.
shopped at Metro!
and we met Li An!!!
ahhh!! really a np gathering day!
haha.

this is me with niff's pink toshiba mp3 player.
haha. its pink! its a cute little whale.
i wanna bring it home!
so cute!

oh no..i have lots of homework yet to be done.
feeling very shagged already.
going out again later.
will try and complete as much homework as possible.
i need to study hard.

p.s. i am not demanding! yeah! (=

thanks to those who made my day happy!

the past few days.

learn to love the people around you.
do not wait till you lose them then you regret.
i am trying hard not to think so much as what xiao mei mei ask me to.
its slowly getting better.
i am reassured.

sometimes i dunno what's with me.
school is not something i look forward to.
somehow i dread school at times.
the feeling is weird and different.
the feeling has changed.
i dunno since when has it changed.
but i just feel different.

i don't blame anyone.
it is a change in myself.
i may be quieter now.
but don't worry i will go back to my talkative self soon.

its just that i miss those times.
those times that i spent with my family the past few days.
i feel really blessed to have them.
i love all of them.
i love
my da biao ge,
wei lai da biao ge sao
er biao ge,
da biao jie,
da biao jie fu,
er biao jie,
er biao jie fu,
san biao jie,
xiao biao jie aka xiao mei mei,
my darling bro,
little naughty boy boy,
and the cutest little girl...

they made my life the past few days.
the things we did together,
folding of joss papers,
burning of joss papers,
drinking cups after cups of coffee,
visits to 7 eleven in the middle of the night,
"snatching" for doraemon magnets,
having Mac for supper,
enjoying nice laska, red ruby, chicken rice bought by my cousins,
squeezing together in the hyundai Matrix,
etc etc etc..

it was the most memorable few days in my life.
please.
stay this way.
i want it to stay this way.
gathering around the corner i hope.
looking forward to mahjong session with da biao ge, er biao jie, n san biao jie.(okie xiao mei mei also la.)
i hope that it will come real soon.
although i think da biao will be too busy,
and he would most likely pang seh.
haiz. nevertheless i am hoping to see all of them soon! =)

in loving memory of my dearest ah ma

i miss her a lot.
Although she is now physically gone but yes, she will live in my heart forever.

Did everything happen too suddenly?
I dunno if its considered sudden.
She was discharged from ICA and transferred to a normal ward on monday.
and on wed 040407, 339am, she left this world.
I was planning to visit her on wed, after school.
the last time i visited her was on Sunday.
She was still in ICA at that time.
She was still feeling quite weak, but she looks a lot more energetic than before.
She even opened her eyes and gave me a slight nod that Sunday.

On tues, she asked the maid for my bro & i.
I really regretted not visiting her earlier.

Wed 330am.
Mom woke me up.
Mom was already at the hospital.
She broke the news to me.
Ah ma has passed away.
My bro & i rushed down to the hospital.
We didn't fulfill her last wish of seeing my bro & i.
This is my deepest regret.

I saw her lying on the bed.
She looks like she has left peacefully.
I cant take it anymore.
I broke down.
As I'm typing this, i'm crying once again.

I know i must be strong.
i know ah ma don't want me to cry also.
I know that she is still around, taking care of us.
i can feel that she is with us.
But i just cant stop myself from crying.

i'm trying not to cry.
i know i'm ok.
or rather i'll be ok.
you all will not understand...

to me its perfectly fine to tear a little.
i'm a human with emotions.
just that its still difficult to accept the fact that i cant see her forever.

But i believe that ah ma has gone to a better place.
Somewhere beautiful.
Somewhere where she can be reunited with ah gong.
Somewhere where her sufferings will be relieved.
A place where ah ma can live happily ever after.


Very often, I may be crying for different reasons.
It may be due to the sadness.
It may be due to some other factors.
I'm furious.
Mad at some people who are unfilial.
I hate those unfilial bastards!
I hate them to the core!
Superficial people!
can they stop acting?
the trust has been betrayed.
So stop putting the blame on others.

And to those stupid ones.
You all are being made the scapegoat!
Stop being so naive.
They are just making use of you all.
Things are not what they appear to be.
gullible idiots.

Stop maligning people!
Are you sure your conscience is clear when you said all those awful things?
you know it best.
Just wanna let you know that i hate all of you!

i'm upset.
cos ah ma dun deserve this at all.
she has given them so much.
dote on them so much.
caring for them endlessly.
but what did she get in return?
this is unfair to her.

I know that ah ma knows.
ah ma knows who is good and who is not.
i truly believe that she knows.

I'm very sure she knows.
She appeared in my dream.
She was implying that she knows.
She was telling me not to worry.
I believe in her.
I'm not going to be too bothered by this.
ah ma don't wanna see me sad.
i'm gonna do what she wants me to.
Yes, I'll study hard.
I'm going to do well.
I won't disappoint her.


to all those who were there for me:
Thank you very much.
Forgive me if i start crying in front of anyone of you again.
I'll try to control myself.
give me some more time.

Thanks for tolerating my foul mood also.
I really appreciate all those who were there for me when i needed it the most.
Especially to my cousins. (my one united family..)
i love all of you.
Let's continue our spirit of unity.
we are one big happy family.
looking forward to our next gathering!

p.s. Please stop asking if i'm ok. Cos i'm seriously ok. Yes, i am.
crying doesn't mean that i'm not ok.
Sorry if you think that i'm being emo.
that's me.
accept it.

emotions

i started tearing after reading this post.
written by my cousin.
once again i was reminded.
and i cried.

way back into love (with lyrics)

Way Back Into Love (full version)

this is the song i love!
MUSIC AND LYRICS!!
meaningful!

music and lyrics

I love this song.
Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

(koped from Phebe's blog!=))

confident

Ms Goh showed us this transparency with lots of cute faces on it!
She made us choose the mood that we are in.
and i choose this.
CONFIDENT
not really cause I'm confident, but nore because this face looks happy!!
hehe.
i love happy faces!

...

LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: joan
Birth Date: 30th nov
Current Status: attached
Eye Colour: blackish brown
Hair Colour: brown
Righty or Lefty: righty

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
My Heritage : Chinese
My Fears : darkness, sadness, clowns.. =X
My Perfect Pizza : BBQ and CHEESE!

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
My Thoughts First Waking Up : oh no its a sch day agn..haiz..
My Bedtime : i wanna talk! hee..
My Most Missed Memory: NP time..haiz...

LAYER 4: MY PICK.
Pepsi or Coke: neither! Ribena!
McDonald's or Burger King: Mac happy meal!! grilled chicken burger!
Single or Group Dates: depends on who is going..but ok with both..
Adidas or Nike: san tiao! (three strips)
Tea or Nestea: Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: i prefer it dark!
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappucino?

LAYER 5: DO YOU...
Smoke: no way!!
Curse: not really except for shit..
Take a Shower: yes yes
Have a Crush: nono..
Think You've Been In Love: yup=))
Go To School: yes..currently..but i need a rest!
Want To Get Married: hehe..yup! (=
Believe In Yourself: I guess I do..depends..
Think Your A Health Freak: hmmz..not really..its periodical..
The verdict is: JOAN ROX!!


LAYER 6: IN THE PAST.
Drank Alcohol: no no...obviously no..i am underage you know..
Gone To The Mall : erm..stupid question..of course la!
Been On Stage: yup yup
Eaten Sushi: Yes. but dun really like it now.
Dyed Your Hair: no no..my hair is of natural color.

LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER...
Played A Stripping Game: no
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: i try not to..

LAYER 8: AGE YOU'RE HOPING...
To Be Married: hmmz...depends lo..

LAYER 9: IN A GUY...
Best Eye Colour: blackish brown
Best Hair Colour: any colour
Short Hair or Long Hair: hopefully short

LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
A Minute Ago: chatting online
Hour Ago: studying for bio=(
4.5 Hours Ago: in zzz land
1 Month Ago: cant rmbr exactly..but should be mugging..
1 Year Ago: having lots of fun! enjoying life...

LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCES...
I love : hee..somebody
I feel: cared for
I hate: smokers and promise-breakers
I hide: hmmz..dunno?? emotions at times?
I miss: NP days!
I need: rest...

LAYER 12: TAG 5 PEOPLE.
1) anyone
2) anyone
3) anyone
4) anyone
5) anyone


(anyone named anyone can do this..)

complicated

why are things in life so complicated?

friendship.
relationship.
kinship.

Friendship
Do we have to tell our friends every single thing that happened in my life?
Not all people are willing to.
Please respect the privacy of those who wish to keep certain things from us.
Forcing them to say things will not work.
If they are comfortable, they will tell you.
If they are not, do not probe.

Sometimes it may just be inappropriate to tell certain people certain things.
Probably because they think that it may be a burden to others.
Probably they may also think that it is irrevelant to certain people.
Probably also because there is seriously no time to share these things with.
haiz.
Accept it.
Friendship isn't as simple as you think it is.

Relationship
Is it really that difficult to love someone forever?
Is it true that after the so called "honey-moon" period, feelings for each other will fade?
Is relationship just the work of chemical reactions in our body?
Is there no psychological explanation to it?

Why is it that one party will be more emotionally attached?
Does it matters how people look at your relationship?
How will you know if one party has a sudden change of heart?
Is it possible for an already broken relationship to be mended again?
How many times can it be mended?
Where do you think your relationship will lead you to? Forever and ever?

Let natural take its course.
Let fate decide.
Yes, I do.

Kinship
Family.
The people you live with everyday.

How many of you can really tell your family members every single thing?
What will they think of your ideology and perception towards certain things?
How will they see you?
How will they response?
Are they willing to accept?

To ask for their acceptance isn't a lot.
It is just the extra effort that they need to put in your shoes.
Seeing things in your perspective.

If you want their understanding.
Understand them first.
It is easier said than done.
Try it yourself.

Life is great??

the mind works in a complicated manner.

different people encounters different problems.
different problems requires different approaches.
different approaches lead to different consequences.

no matter what the consequences are,
You will have to face them.
It is a path that you have chosen yourself.
At times, you may feel that this is not entirely your fault.
And neither is it the fault of others.

Very often, it is easier to blame others.
Human beings are naturally egoistic.
Its hard to admit that the mistake was made yourself.

It is even harder to accept something that people said.
This is especially so when they are right about this something.

Facing problems is part and parcel of life.
Choose your own way to face these problems and obstacles in life.
It isn't worth it to be hindered by these obstacles.
Stopping you from achieving the success awaiting at the other end.

Don't give up.
Life is worth having you in it.
You make the difference in your own life.

Phebe's and Kristen's bdae

21st March 2007
After being pestered by Phebe Bay Chun Hui for about one month or so, its finally her special day!

Photos taken on her bdae!

this is the bdae cake that stef made for her. =)
yummy cake!
really delicious and full!
greedy Kesleen took TWO pieces!
tsk tsk tsk..that ah zhou ah... so unhealthy!!

Later at night
dinner at Hans!! (haiz..yes Hans again..but very very nice!)

this are pictures at Hans:

when Kristen receives her present.
the white cap.
with added accessories.
designed and made by stef and LY!!
(on de day that phebe called stef)
hee..

we have completed one cycle of our bdaes!
everyone of us have our special bdae gifts from the seven sisters.
so wads next?

my infant's bdae.

i have to say this no matter what!
my infant is really gettting on my nerves.
her continuous and never ending questions about her birthday.
and my patient and witty replies.
and i think infant is truely enjoying herself while she inquires about her present.
but i what i said was really true.
i am seriously not very involved in infant's present.
UNTILL>>
yesterday night.. haha.. while i had fun try to decorate infaant's cookbook!
it is so so so so interesting!! haha.. i hope infant will be happy after reading it!
infant is at economics lecture now.
i am secretly hoping that infant is reading the cookbook now.
but i doubt so as her lecturer will ask questions.
And being the luckily little infant birthday girl,
she might kena a question by the lecturer.
my point is, infant will need to take quite long to finish reading the whole cookbook.
as in not the recipe part, but those add-ons!
i contributed to fifteen pages of add-ons in the cookbook!
haha! hehe!!i guess i broke the record! =P
cos i have the whole evening to do the add-ons.
and i have a strong feeling that infant will like the last few pages of the cookbook alot!
gee..

anyway, i wanna apologise to infant for de a bit lousy wrapping skills.
but you can consider yourself lucky.
cos very often, i do not wrap people's present.
you aren't the first that i wrapped.
but you are one of the very few that i wrapped!

gotta go.. the bell rang..