happiness?

i have been thinking of something for quite long.
something that bothers me usually when i wanna fall asleep.

i know i am not very happy studying now.
not as happy as i used to be.
studying has became a chore.
it is hard work, which does not necessarily equate to results.

and when i am ultimately free of studying,
will i really be that happy?

i can't help but to wonder,

what is true happiness?

to be able to have material wealth?
to be able to do the things you want?
to have freedom?
to slack and not do anything everyday?
to have someone to share your joy or even your pain and sorrow?
to know that there is someone around to care for you?
to know that there is someone around to love you?
to know that you have someone who listens to you?
to know that there are many other things in life that money can't buy?
to see the smiles on faces of kids, thinking what a carefree life they have?
to put a smile on someone's face knowing that you had made a difference in their lives?
to see that your loved ones are happy?
to simply cook or prepare a meal for someone you love so deeply?
to watch the waves washing against the shores with the warm sunset as your background?
to do something which everyone will be proud of?
to achieve all your goals in life?
to get all As for A levels?
to get into the most prestigious university?
to get into the most promising university course?
to climb up the corporate ladder as high as you could?
to sacrifice all your friendships and kinship just so you achieve you happiness?

i find it really hard to define happiness.
it is just a simple fundamental word.
yet it is so subjective.

very often, i think that life would be so much better and happier after As.
but is it true?
even i myself can't guarantee happiness after As.
probably life would be more interesting.
but does a more interesting life = happy life?
i don't know.
but i want to know.
fly me to 22nd nov.