randomness..

Strangers are just family that you've yet to know...
=)

back to TK! soon i mean..

yes yes!! i will be going back to TK!! erm...quite long later though.. probably like end of this year when my A levels finally ended.. haiz...really waiting for that day to come!
i miss the days in TK! i miss all the fun time that i enjoyed there.. all the friends i made... all the caring teachers.. haiz. .life will not be back to whats its like previously.
Nevertheless, i do enjoy life in TJ. but its just a different kind of enjoyment i guess.

going back to TK is something that i am seriously looking forward to! especially so when someone promised to go back with me after my As! sorta a motivation for me to study harder for my As too. this is one of the small little things in life that keeps me going. TK rOx!! =)

parents tutor dialogue

it was quite a fruitful meet-the-parents session.
hmm. through this meet-the-parents session, i realised something more about myself.

1. i appear tired in class.(means i tend to fall asleep during lessons) - i would like to rebut this point!! i am really trying my best not to fall asleep already! i will only sleep if i feel that the lesson aren't very useful, or if i'm really feeling very very tired and i cant stand it anymore. The times by which i fall asleep is a Poisson distribution, if you exclude those during GP.
2. i have a short attention span. oh man. this makes me sound like a primary school kid who cant keep their eyes on the teacher for more than 5minutes! i DO NOT have a short attention span. i'm just trying to keep myself awake. i mean instead of listening to the teacher, i'm trying to diverge my attention else where. that doesn't mean that i have a short attention span! it just shows that the lesson is erm...not interesting enough to keep me awake!
3. i need TONIC! haha..yes yes.. i need tonic! lots of them. whatever ginseng, chicken of essence, lingyang etc... i need all of them.. could some nice soul please buy me some of those? hee..
4. yes yes.. this one is funny.. a particular teacher commented that i should learn to have some self control and not continue laughing at a joke for minutes after the joke is told. this is an interesting one. i don't have anything to say to defence myself. i just think that its natural to laugh.
   

these are my four main take aways for the whole parent tutor dialogue session. not really very useful as you can see. but the general positive comment was that i am indeed improving! =) yup. hopefully this comment is true till the end of the year.
furthermore, why cant teachers tell us these things straight? i mean why do they always have to let our parents be the first to know? if we don't know what's wrong with ourselves, then how are we suppose to improve and change before you all meet our parents?
my conclusion is that they just want to have something to say to our parents.

100th day! =)

swimming day!

yes! love swimming!
especially with my infant PHEBE BAY CHUN HUI!
haha..
i love it when we get to swim in the whole big swimming pool all by ourselves!
i love it when all the rest get out of the pool while we stayed behind and continued swimming!
i love the feeling that you feeling that you are exercising yet you do not feel the sweat.
it feels hot in the water yet at the same time the water keeps me cool.
the feeling is just so good!
i wanna go swimming soon!
=)

and we swam in the rain today!
woohoo!

16 April!

yes! 16 April!
its once again 16th!
=) =) =)

three months has passed.
things are moving along well.

trust is important.
very important.

a sweet sweet three months.

who cares what others think?
whatever they think isn't gonna affect us.

i know what i am doing.
i know what i myself feel.
i know that only i am comfortable with him.

yes, that's enough.

so what if people look at me differently?

i am happy with what i am doing.
thanks for your concern.
Life is great with him! (=

<3 him

ben & jerry 2!

reached ben & jerry at 2.25pm.
started queueing up till 2.50pm.
first scoop of my ice cream.(Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough)
with my TJ 7 sisters.




shopped around with 7 sisters till around 3.20pm.
by that time, i already finished my first scoop of ben & jerry.
if not it would have already melted lo.

met dawn at around 3.25pm.
queued once again with her.
cut queue as we saw how ee and gan jun!
haha. cut almost half the queue.
got my second scoop(which is in a cup) (Chocolate Fudge Brownie) at 3.50pm.

then went around white sands once again with dawn.
finished up my second scoop.
and took a few photos with dawn using her new phone.

the silver K800i!!

then, 4.40pm.
junjie reached white sands.
we joined him in queueing.
i was thinking, am i really going for my third scoop?! omg!!

so, niff reached at around 5pm.
and we were nearing the counter already.
niff tried to cut queue.
but there is this disgusting old ben & jerry worker there.
he stopped him from joining the queue.
so dawn and i took his "order" and ordered on his behalf.
thus, dawn and i shared one scoop. ( Sweet Cream & Cookies)

so niff owe me once as i help him queue for his ice cream.
and he owe me another once as i missed my bus cos of him.
altogether he owe me twice.
i'll remember!

p.s. among all the three flavours
Chocolate Fudge Brownie is ranked first.
followed by Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough,
then Sweet Cream & Cookies! hehe..

but i still think that Phish Food and Marsha Marsha Marshmallow is the best! (=

joan rOx!
ben & jerry rOx!

ben & jerry's day!

yeah! it was a happy ben & jerry day!

our tues was supposed to be a long day til 4.30pm.
but we manged to rushed down to the white sands branch by 2.25pm.
thanks to our GP tutor Mr Calvin Tan for kindly shifting forward Gp to the earlier time slot.
and also very much thanks to there being no PE!

it was such an interesting day in school as we all couldn't wait to go to ben & jerry!
we are so so crazy about ben & jerry that we tried and show our love for it!

my wrist being "cutted" by infant!!*ouch*
did this during maths lecture. that's why i was wide awake.
but during biology lecture. sianz diao.


infant's hand.
drawn it during biology tutorial.
at the same time, had had an interesting conversation
about X gal in our 1 o' clock direction.

Jiawei's hand.
vandalized by Phebe Bay (infant) also.
done during biology tutorial.

Group photo of the 3crazy, tan chi n ben& jerry lovers!
we are one big family.
on the left is daddy no.2, then infant, then mummy!(me!)
venue: the hot and stuffy biology lab.

okie..those are the before going to ben and jerry pictures.
shall blog about the real ben & jerry later or some other time . (=

one of my happiest day recently

yesterday was fun!
it was seriously one of my happiest day!
it was also dawn's bdae! hee.. altho her bdae present was like ermm..crap...
haha...but nvm...she sorta like it alot..
we wanted her not to like the present lo!

it was this powerpuff girl cake!
i feel that its quite ugly.
niff thinks that dawn wont like it too.
but when we gave it to her, she went...
"oh! so cute!" in a bit of a high pitch voice!
haha..so exaggerating!
maybe she was just trying to not make us disappointed.
but in actual fact we were quite disappointed that she like it...omg!
it just turned out so so LEFT!

we went bowling in textile centre.
for like around 30minutes only.
because the alley was to be closed at 2pm for some competition.
and sadly, niff was the only one who bowl.
nothing very interesting happened during bowling, except for the fact that niff is seriously a drain washer..
his bowl skills sucks~!
haha...wait till he sees this. but i doubt he will tho..=P

then, we walked to beach road!
i love the hawker centre at beach road!
it reminds me of my kayaking times!
i love the chicken rice there also!
haiz..but i din eat it yesterday.
was too full to eat chicken rice.
we ate some belgium ice cream.
mine was specoolas, (some kinda biscuit flavour, which taste somewhat similar to venezia tartufo)
dawn's was super lemon! which really tasted very very sour, yet it refreshes at the same time.

while niff ate waffle with chocolate dip! haha..plus a tiny bit of specoolas and super lemon from dawn's and mine.
this is niff's waffle, with chocolate dip.and the heart shape look alike is our ice cream!

the prices are reasonable.
1scoop $1.80.
waffle with chocolate dip $2.50
1 scoop with waffle $3.60
really worth trying out.. (altho i think ben and jerry is still the best!)

after our ice cream,
we walked aimlessly out of the hawker centre.
actually we were supposed to be walking to a bus stop.
all of us thought that someone else was leading the correct way.
but we ended "lost" somewhere.
haha.
its okie.
we weren't that lost.
reached bugis dreanched.

from bugis we took train to tampines.
shopped at Metro!
and we met Li An!!!
ahhh!! really a np gathering day!
haha.

this is me with niff's pink toshiba mp3 player.
haha. its pink! its a cute little whale.
i wanna bring it home!
so cute!

oh no..i have lots of homework yet to be done.
feeling very shagged already.
going out again later.
will try and complete as much homework as possible.
i need to study hard.

p.s. i am not demanding! yeah! (=

thanks to those who made my day happy!

the past few days.

learn to love the people around you.
do not wait till you lose them then you regret.
i am trying hard not to think so much as what xiao mei mei ask me to.
its slowly getting better.
i am reassured.

sometimes i dunno what's with me.
school is not something i look forward to.
somehow i dread school at times.
the feeling is weird and different.
the feeling has changed.
i dunno since when has it changed.
but i just feel different.

i don't blame anyone.
it is a change in myself.
i may be quieter now.
but don't worry i will go back to my talkative self soon.

its just that i miss those times.
those times that i spent with my family the past few days.
i feel really blessed to have them.
i love all of them.
i love
my da biao ge,
wei lai da biao ge sao
er biao ge,
da biao jie,
da biao jie fu,
er biao jie,
er biao jie fu,
san biao jie,
xiao biao jie aka xiao mei mei,
my darling bro,
little naughty boy boy,
and the cutest little girl...

they made my life the past few days.
the things we did together,
folding of joss papers,
burning of joss papers,
drinking cups after cups of coffee,
visits to 7 eleven in the middle of the night,
"snatching" for doraemon magnets,
having Mac for supper,
enjoying nice laska, red ruby, chicken rice bought by my cousins,
squeezing together in the hyundai Matrix,
etc etc etc..

it was the most memorable few days in my life.
please.
stay this way.
i want it to stay this way.
gathering around the corner i hope.
looking forward to mahjong session with da biao ge, er biao jie, n san biao jie.(okie xiao mei mei also la.)
i hope that it will come real soon.
although i think da biao will be too busy,
and he would most likely pang seh.
haiz. nevertheless i am hoping to see all of them soon! =)

in loving memory of my dearest ah ma

i miss her a lot.
Although she is now physically gone but yes, she will live in my heart forever.

Did everything happen too suddenly?
I dunno if its considered sudden.
She was discharged from ICA and transferred to a normal ward on monday.
and on wed 040407, 339am, she left this world.
I was planning to visit her on wed, after school.
the last time i visited her was on Sunday.
She was still in ICA at that time.
She was still feeling quite weak, but she looks a lot more energetic than before.
She even opened her eyes and gave me a slight nod that Sunday.

On tues, she asked the maid for my bro & i.
I really regretted not visiting her earlier.

Wed 330am.
Mom woke me up.
Mom was already at the hospital.
She broke the news to me.
Ah ma has passed away.
My bro & i rushed down to the hospital.
We didn't fulfill her last wish of seeing my bro & i.
This is my deepest regret.

I saw her lying on the bed.
She looks like she has left peacefully.
I cant take it anymore.
I broke down.
As I'm typing this, i'm crying once again.

I know i must be strong.
i know ah ma don't want me to cry also.
I know that she is still around, taking care of us.
i can feel that she is with us.
But i just cant stop myself from crying.

i'm trying not to cry.
i know i'm ok.
or rather i'll be ok.
you all will not understand...

to me its perfectly fine to tear a little.
i'm a human with emotions.
just that its still difficult to accept the fact that i cant see her forever.

But i believe that ah ma has gone to a better place.
Somewhere beautiful.
Somewhere where she can be reunited with ah gong.
Somewhere where her sufferings will be relieved.
A place where ah ma can live happily ever after.


Very often, I may be crying for different reasons.
It may be due to the sadness.
It may be due to some other factors.
I'm furious.
Mad at some people who are unfilial.
I hate those unfilial bastards!
I hate them to the core!
Superficial people!
can they stop acting?
the trust has been betrayed.
So stop putting the blame on others.

And to those stupid ones.
You all are being made the scapegoat!
Stop being so naive.
They are just making use of you all.
Things are not what they appear to be.
gullible idiots.

Stop maligning people!
Are you sure your conscience is clear when you said all those awful things?
you know it best.
Just wanna let you know that i hate all of you!

i'm upset.
cos ah ma dun deserve this at all.
she has given them so much.
dote on them so much.
caring for them endlessly.
but what did she get in return?
this is unfair to her.

I know that ah ma knows.
ah ma knows who is good and who is not.
i truly believe that she knows.

I'm very sure she knows.
She appeared in my dream.
She was implying that she knows.
She was telling me not to worry.
I believe in her.
I'm not going to be too bothered by this.
ah ma don't wanna see me sad.
i'm gonna do what she wants me to.
Yes, I'll study hard.
I'm going to do well.
I won't disappoint her.


to all those who were there for me:
Thank you very much.
Forgive me if i start crying in front of anyone of you again.
I'll try to control myself.
give me some more time.

Thanks for tolerating my foul mood also.
I really appreciate all those who were there for me when i needed it the most.
Especially to my cousins. (my one united family..)
i love all of you.
Let's continue our spirit of unity.
we are one big happy family.
looking forward to our next gathering!

p.s. Please stop asking if i'm ok. Cos i'm seriously ok. Yes, i am.
crying doesn't mean that i'm not ok.
Sorry if you think that i'm being emo.
that's me.
accept it.

emotions

i started tearing after reading this post.
written by my cousin.
once again i was reminded.
and i cried.