=(

haiz..
feeling really down and low and like i am at my lowest point now.
i dunno what to say.
i want to study hard.
really study hard.
but its so difficult.

distractions?
not much i guess.
other than my phone games.
going out.
TV? nah...

it feels like shit.
everything sucks!
i hate it.
did i not put in enough?

those subjects which i expected to do better for turned out rather average.
or actually to be truthful
they are seriously below expectations.

i am satisfied with none of my results.
nothing.
nothing at all.

i know that i need to start studying right now.
straight away.
but there are too many excuses that i am finding.

are they excuses?
or am i really tired?

everyday after school i feel very lethargic.
had always wanted to study when i reach home.
but its not very effective.
most of the time, i would end up not absorbing whatever i am reading.

going to school and returning home all shack,
having no mood to study is bad.
this is a vicious cycle going round and round.
with me trying to get out of it.

i hate school!
especially tues!
what a useless day.
i am just wasting my time away in school.
every soon , i would pon tues.

i know many would think that this is unacceptable.
but still.
i will pon.
don't try and dissuade me from ponning.
you are not me.
you won't know what is good for me.

and to end this all.
i don't ever meant to disappoint anyone.
and i wont ever disappoint anyone again.

LIFE SUCKS!